“I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all” Whitney Huston, The Greatest Love of All
I wish I could say that I have never forgotten the greatest love of all. How often have you forgotten to love yourself, first? It seems inconceivable to do anything else, but I have been guilty from time to time. I truly love me and I want the best of the best, but sometimes I give too much thinking the return is greater. I live to love and desire to be loved.
When I find that my life is out of balanced I turn inward to ask myself a very valuable question. Where is the love in this matter? Love is the one thing that we all desire to have. We don’t have to speak the same language or have the same religious beliefs, but we all desire to experience love. Love is universal. And the funny thing is we don’t have to seek a mate to find it, we already have it. We are love. We came from love, and when we die we will return to love. However, we all seek to know the love of another.
Yesterday, I had lunch with a friend and he asked, “What’s the difference between loving someone and being in–love with someone?” There is a big difference. We can love many people all at the same time i.e. I love my mother, my father, my siblings, my friends, etc., but when you are in-love, that suggest romance. Being in-love with someone means that you have a romantic and intimate affection for the person. When people fall out of love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t love the person, they just may not be in-love with the person. Meaning that they care, but not in a romantic way, anymore.
This can be difficult to understand when you may still have feelings for someone. Maybe, they haven’t given you closure or at least the closure you desire. Most of the time when we are in a relationship we become attached to what we want this person to be, and not necessarily who this person is. This is when we need to ask ourselves some very valuable questions. What do “I” really want? Can s/he give me that? Does this relationship serve our best good?
If you are honest, it won’t matter if they fall out of love with you, because the love you have for yourself is what really matters the most. It may be difficult, but you will attract real love, and the one who really loves you. An old wise man once told me, “When a man really loves you, he will do all that he cans to make sure that you know.” Love is not difficult. We make it difficult. Love is rather simple. Stay true to who you are and what you believe. Always be honest with yourself and the other person.
It is when we get attached to our illusions, that we loose focus of what true love is. True love is the greatest love of all, the love that you have for yourself. When you love you, then someone else will see the love. When you love you, you attract love to you. When you love you, you don’t settle for anything else in return. So, if you want to experience love, begin with being in-love with the most important person in your life — YOU!
Today, I am taking my own advice and loving everything about who I am, and knowing that sometimes you fall in-love with a person seasonally, prematurely, or indefinitely. However, love is given to you not hold on to, but to give away. The more you give, the more you get. Nothing in this life is promised. We have no pocessions. We only have time to borrow, experience, and learn the lessons we need from the people we meet. Remember, if you want to experience love, first have a relationship with yourself.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Dream
“Risk more than others think is safe…
Care more that others think is wise…
Dream more than others think is practical…
Expect more than others think is possible…” (unknown)
Today, I saw the above written on a frame and I took notice. It resonated for a while within my thoughts, which is why I decided to blog on it today. Most of my life I have stepped out of my comfort zone to risk what others deemed to be too much. I have moved to places that I have never been. I have left jobs that were no longer satisfying. I have followed my dreams even when I was scared to death. Sometimes the risk was worth it, and sometimes I paid dearly. However, I have learned some valuable lessons taking risk that others only dream to take.
In my opinion, anything worth having requires taking a risk. Most of the time the risk needs to be calculated, but others times you need to step out on faith. Have courage in knowing that whatever you are in need of will be given to you, just as you need it. Don’t ever fail to try because you fear that you will fail. If you fear failure before you step out to follow your dreams, you have already sealed your faith in failing. You must believe in your dream as if you have already received them, or else they will not manifest themselves.
When you care about others, especially when you have a few naysayers, you must realize that your opinion is the only one that really matters. People can give you advice, but when it is all said and done, you are the only one that really needs to decide how much you are going to care. When you care for another person, you are concerned about his or her well-being. You want for them what you want for yourself. If you truly care about that person, you do it from a place of love, which is always wise. It is perfectly ok to love others, but many people love until it hurts. When you love until it hurts, you have allowed another person to become your God. You have robbed yourself of wise decision-making, and put them before your own needs and/or desires.
There will always be someone who thinks that you are making the wrong decision when you choose to care for certain people, but you must know if your caring is from a healthy or unhealthy place. Do not allow others to prevent you from truly caring about someone you desire to care about. Love is what we all seek to have, and you must not allow others or fear to prevent you from finding it. Trust that you will attract to you positive and healthy relationships that add value to your life. Then live the best life that you know how to live.
When you dream, dream BIG. Your dreams are yours and yours alone. If you want to have a mansion with a five-car garage and you only have one car, dream. If you want to be a best selling author, dream. If you want to appear on the Oprah show, dream. It doesn’t matter how wild or outlandish your dreams are, just remember they are your dreams and that you are entitled to dream beyond what you can see, taste, or feel. Dreams are powerful and if you really believe, they will come true.
We’re already connected to everything that we desire to have in this world, and all we have to do is know that it is ours to receive. As G.I Joe would say, “knowing is half the battle.” You have to know that you are good enough, smart enough, and powerful enough to bring your dreams into existence. I believe that your dreams are God’s seeds given to you to plant. If you never plant them they will never grow, and most people walk around with hundreds of seeds in their pockets. When will you have the courage to plant them and allow them to manifest to your delight?
Expectation… is awaiting the arrival of a thing. When you have done, what you know to do, the next thing is to expect that it will yield the results of your labor. Many people do all that they know to do and then the doubt that they will receive. Can you say killing the process? Why would you work hard to accomplish a goal only to doubt that it will manifest? I am not sure why, but many of us have done this from time to time. We do this because we get impatient. We forget that we are not in control and that time is limitless.
When you dream you have to expect that what you desire will show up, and it does not really matter when. You have to have an unwavering faith in what you are expecting to be true. You must believe that all things are possible even when you are surrounded by what I call “doubtful-believers.” Doubtful-believers are those people who ask for something, but doubt that it will ever come about. They are the people who only expect the things that are tangible to exist, and they can’t see things they can’t touch. You have to stand in the knowing sometimes, and believe in things that have yet to ever appear. You have to be a creator and manifest miracles.
Today, I am learning to dream. I am planting the seeds of my future. I see everything I need as if it already exists for me. I don’t know when my dreams will appear, and I don’t need to know. However, I do know that I am asking for my dreams to arrive, as I need them. I looking for major blessings because I believe my dreams will come true.
Care more that others think is wise…
Dream more than others think is practical…
Expect more than others think is possible…” (unknown)
Today, I saw the above written on a frame and I took notice. It resonated for a while within my thoughts, which is why I decided to blog on it today. Most of my life I have stepped out of my comfort zone to risk what others deemed to be too much. I have moved to places that I have never been. I have left jobs that were no longer satisfying. I have followed my dreams even when I was scared to death. Sometimes the risk was worth it, and sometimes I paid dearly. However, I have learned some valuable lessons taking risk that others only dream to take.
In my opinion, anything worth having requires taking a risk. Most of the time the risk needs to be calculated, but others times you need to step out on faith. Have courage in knowing that whatever you are in need of will be given to you, just as you need it. Don’t ever fail to try because you fear that you will fail. If you fear failure before you step out to follow your dreams, you have already sealed your faith in failing. You must believe in your dream as if you have already received them, or else they will not manifest themselves.
When you care about others, especially when you have a few naysayers, you must realize that your opinion is the only one that really matters. People can give you advice, but when it is all said and done, you are the only one that really needs to decide how much you are going to care. When you care for another person, you are concerned about his or her well-being. You want for them what you want for yourself. If you truly care about that person, you do it from a place of love, which is always wise. It is perfectly ok to love others, but many people love until it hurts. When you love until it hurts, you have allowed another person to become your God. You have robbed yourself of wise decision-making, and put them before your own needs and/or desires.
There will always be someone who thinks that you are making the wrong decision when you choose to care for certain people, but you must know if your caring is from a healthy or unhealthy place. Do not allow others to prevent you from truly caring about someone you desire to care about. Love is what we all seek to have, and you must not allow others or fear to prevent you from finding it. Trust that you will attract to you positive and healthy relationships that add value to your life. Then live the best life that you know how to live.
When you dream, dream BIG. Your dreams are yours and yours alone. If you want to have a mansion with a five-car garage and you only have one car, dream. If you want to be a best selling author, dream. If you want to appear on the Oprah show, dream. It doesn’t matter how wild or outlandish your dreams are, just remember they are your dreams and that you are entitled to dream beyond what you can see, taste, or feel. Dreams are powerful and if you really believe, they will come true.
We’re already connected to everything that we desire to have in this world, and all we have to do is know that it is ours to receive. As G.I Joe would say, “knowing is half the battle.” You have to know that you are good enough, smart enough, and powerful enough to bring your dreams into existence. I believe that your dreams are God’s seeds given to you to plant. If you never plant them they will never grow, and most people walk around with hundreds of seeds in their pockets. When will you have the courage to plant them and allow them to manifest to your delight?
Expectation… is awaiting the arrival of a thing. When you have done, what you know to do, the next thing is to expect that it will yield the results of your labor. Many people do all that they know to do and then the doubt that they will receive. Can you say killing the process? Why would you work hard to accomplish a goal only to doubt that it will manifest? I am not sure why, but many of us have done this from time to time. We do this because we get impatient. We forget that we are not in control and that time is limitless.
When you dream you have to expect that what you desire will show up, and it does not really matter when. You have to have an unwavering faith in what you are expecting to be true. You must believe that all things are possible even when you are surrounded by what I call “doubtful-believers.” Doubtful-believers are those people who ask for something, but doubt that it will ever come about. They are the people who only expect the things that are tangible to exist, and they can’t see things they can’t touch. You have to stand in the knowing sometimes, and believe in things that have yet to ever appear. You have to be a creator and manifest miracles.
Today, I am learning to dream. I am planting the seeds of my future. I see everything I need as if it already exists for me. I don’t know when my dreams will appear, and I don’t need to know. However, I do know that I am asking for my dreams to arrive, as I need them. I looking for major blessings because I believe my dreams will come true.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
How Do I Trust This…
Patience is one of those things that you only gain through experience. At this moment I am relearning things I thought I had learned. I am reevaluating the things I thought I knew, only to find that I have a new perspective on old views. I am currently learning the power of “Letting Go.” I am learning to let go of past situations, people who no longer serve my best good, thoughts, behaviors, and my fears. However, letting go is a process and I have found that letting go sometimes requires you to trust, and be willing to embrace something new and unknown prior to the release.
Today, I am letting go of what I call my rear-view. You know we tend to try to navigate our lives looking back, but we cannot proceed forward looking in our rear-view mirrors. Have you ever noticed that your rear-view mirror is much smaller than your front window? The reason that it’s smaller is because you have little to no reason to see what is behind you. Our front window is much bigger because the things that are in front of us are much larger than what is behind us. The only time we need to look back is to park or reflect. Yet many times we attempt to drive our lives looking in the rear-view. Isn’t it funny that there is a caution on the mirror that states: CAUTION: objects-in-mirror are closer than they appear. This means that those things that you thought that you had dealt with, gotten over, and left behind are not really that far behind you at all. However, it’s in moving forward and having new experiences that we even find out how close your past really is.
I am currently finding out that I have yet to know what trust is. Yeah, that thing that requires that you are patient and that you embrace the unknown. See, I was only thinking of trust in terms of being in a relationship and trusting that the other person would honor their word or action. But, no! Trust is not only the belief in someone doing what they said. It’s about having enough faith that even if they don’t do what they said that you still know what you know. Trust is often times not even about the other person. Trust is intimate. Trust has more to do with you and your perspective on any given situation than it does with what someone else will or will not do. Trust is about letting go of what you previously thought to be true and finding out what is really true for this moment. Oh, trust is deep!
What I am finding out is that trust, which I’ve always thought had more to do with me than anyone else, is about not surrendering my power to someone else. What I am learning is that trust is about being able to walk through a matter knowing without a shadow of a doubt, that what I know is what I know. Trust is about having faith in a situation that looks so bleak that the average person would give up, but you proceed because you’re certain that it is not what you “think” to be true, but rather that you know. Trust is knowing that when the objects of the past seem so close that they appear to be present, you can keep moving forward because you know you have already overcome. And to look back would only hinder your future. So, when in doubt, keep your eyes on the prize.
So, today I acknowledge that some things are an illusion. That everything that I may be thinking may not really exist. I must remember that the things I have asked for, that have appeared, are for me and must not doubt them. I must know that I have been prepared to deal with them. And if I need anything else, it will be provided just as I need it. I have to know this to be true, not just think it. I must be willing to be patient even when a thing seems as if it’s bleak or not at all working in my favor. I am learning how to trust that my God is still able to work all things out for the best of all that are concerned. And, I don’t have to see it to believe it. I just need to know that it is, and it will be.
Today, I am letting go of what I call my rear-view. You know we tend to try to navigate our lives looking back, but we cannot proceed forward looking in our rear-view mirrors. Have you ever noticed that your rear-view mirror is much smaller than your front window? The reason that it’s smaller is because you have little to no reason to see what is behind you. Our front window is much bigger because the things that are in front of us are much larger than what is behind us. The only time we need to look back is to park or reflect. Yet many times we attempt to drive our lives looking in the rear-view. Isn’t it funny that there is a caution on the mirror that states: CAUTION: objects-in-mirror are closer than they appear. This means that those things that you thought that you had dealt with, gotten over, and left behind are not really that far behind you at all. However, it’s in moving forward and having new experiences that we even find out how close your past really is.
I am currently finding out that I have yet to know what trust is. Yeah, that thing that requires that you are patient and that you embrace the unknown. See, I was only thinking of trust in terms of being in a relationship and trusting that the other person would honor their word or action. But, no! Trust is not only the belief in someone doing what they said. It’s about having enough faith that even if they don’t do what they said that you still know what you know. Trust is often times not even about the other person. Trust is intimate. Trust has more to do with you and your perspective on any given situation than it does with what someone else will or will not do. Trust is about letting go of what you previously thought to be true and finding out what is really true for this moment. Oh, trust is deep!
What I am finding out is that trust, which I’ve always thought had more to do with me than anyone else, is about not surrendering my power to someone else. What I am learning is that trust is about being able to walk through a matter knowing without a shadow of a doubt, that what I know is what I know. Trust is about having faith in a situation that looks so bleak that the average person would give up, but you proceed because you’re certain that it is not what you “think” to be true, but rather that you know. Trust is knowing that when the objects of the past seem so close that they appear to be present, you can keep moving forward because you know you have already overcome. And to look back would only hinder your future. So, when in doubt, keep your eyes on the prize.
So, today I acknowledge that some things are an illusion. That everything that I may be thinking may not really exist. I must remember that the things I have asked for, that have appeared, are for me and must not doubt them. I must know that I have been prepared to deal with them. And if I need anything else, it will be provided just as I need it. I have to know this to be true, not just think it. I must be willing to be patient even when a thing seems as if it’s bleak or not at all working in my favor. I am learning how to trust that my God is still able to work all things out for the best of all that are concerned. And, I don’t have to see it to believe it. I just need to know that it is, and it will be.
When You Listen
Life is full of unexpected surprises and we must be prepared even when things seem to be overwhelming, to say the lease. The sun inspires me each morning because it gives me something to look forward to in the moments to come. It is unfortunate that we take for granted the smallest of things, which are true blessings, from the moment we open ours eyes to the moment we retire in hope of a new day.
I have found that in this journey we call life that our heartaches and pains are really the moments when we receive our greatest lessons in life. It is through these troubling times we gain our strength to proceed forward, and it is in what I call "down time" that we actually are able to rise to the occasion to be all that we can be. Often times it is hard to think of the blessings that are in the lesson we are being taught, but know that there is a blessing in every lesson.
It wasn't until I lost everything or what I thought to be everything that I found all that I needed in life, and actually I didn't have to look far at all. See, it is funny but we are always in search of that thing that will make us happy, create peace, give us balance, and pay our bills. And for some reason we think that we have to search high and low outside ourselves for the very thing the lies within. Everything that we need to have peace, create balance, and even pay our bills has always been within our very souls. The power is not out there in some unforeseen force or place, but better yet, the power to create and change any situation resides within us all.
I consider myself to an outgoing individual who loves the interaction of people in my life, but it is not until I withdraw into myself and spend some "me time" alone that I experience my greatest peace. I am whole today because I have endured things that I thought were painful and yet I now know they were blessings in disguise. It was those unsure moments that I didn't question that gave me this feeling of wholeness. It was in those moments that I didn't have an answer, when I didn't understanding, and when I didn't have a place to turn that I found that I had the answer the entire time.
I encourage you to trust that the most high has given you all that you need and that you can make any situation a success just by believing. Have faith in yourself and understand in all things you control your outcome. It is through the quiet and still moments that he speaks to you, and through you, but you must be willing to listen.
I have found that in this journey we call life that our heartaches and pains are really the moments when we receive our greatest lessons in life. It is through these troubling times we gain our strength to proceed forward, and it is in what I call "down time" that we actually are able to rise to the occasion to be all that we can be. Often times it is hard to think of the blessings that are in the lesson we are being taught, but know that there is a blessing in every lesson.
It wasn't until I lost everything or what I thought to be everything that I found all that I needed in life, and actually I didn't have to look far at all. See, it is funny but we are always in search of that thing that will make us happy, create peace, give us balance, and pay our bills. And for some reason we think that we have to search high and low outside ourselves for the very thing the lies within. Everything that we need to have peace, create balance, and even pay our bills has always been within our very souls. The power is not out there in some unforeseen force or place, but better yet, the power to create and change any situation resides within us all.
I consider myself to an outgoing individual who loves the interaction of people in my life, but it is not until I withdraw into myself and spend some "me time" alone that I experience my greatest peace. I am whole today because I have endured things that I thought were painful and yet I now know they were blessings in disguise. It was those unsure moments that I didn't question that gave me this feeling of wholeness. It was in those moments that I didn't have an answer, when I didn't understanding, and when I didn't have a place to turn that I found that I had the answer the entire time.
I encourage you to trust that the most high has given you all that you need and that you can make any situation a success just by believing. Have faith in yourself and understand in all things you control your outcome. It is through the quiet and still moments that he speaks to you, and through you, but you must be willing to listen.
Friday, October 10, 2008
WALKING THROUGH THE FEAR TO FIND LOVE
"If all your life you‘ve been your own worst enemy, then when will you allow yourself to become your own best friend…. "
I woke up this morning only to find that I would be in a conversation about the expression of love. In my last relationship I stayed because I wanted him to understand that he was loveable, and when I finally walked away, after he cheated, I learned that I was the one being taught how to love. Love can be very scary and you can find yourself in a place of fear battling whether the past or the future has the rights to your heart.
Today, I spoke with a very good friend and we talked about the fear of allowing oneself to love. When it comes to love I do have my own fears, but I try to know that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. I believe that what I put out into the Universe is what I will get back. I know that I can’t control anyone else and if the person I love chooses to cheat it has nothing to do with who I am. I learned awhile ago that life is too short to worry about what other people do because you can’t control them. I live my life from a place of love, so I expect that I will attract to me the person I am.
For some people this is all fluff and it can’t be this simple. As my friend says, “I’m guarding my heart and protecting me, what if I let my guard down and they hurt me anyway?” Well, my response is, “what if they never hurt you?” I am not about to live in a place of fear awaiting the day that someone does to me what I “think” they may do, because what if they never do what I “think.” Life is much too short to live in a place of projected negativity when I could spend the same time in a place of being positive, experiencing love, and accepting the person I have before me. So, I pose the question, “what if all your life you’ve been your own worst enemy, then when will you allow yourself to become your own best friend?”
If all you know is hurt, then wouldn’t it be wonderful to experience pleasure for the very first time? This requires that you do something different that will produce a much needed and very different result like changing your thoughts. I know that this may not be that simple, because if it were you would have done it prior to now. However, what better time to do something different and get a better result than now.
It’s time that you walk through your fears and allow yourself to experience the best thing that could ever happened to you. Yes, there is a chance that you may meet another looser, but what if you met a wonderful loving human being who truly wants to love you. I don’t know, I’m willing to take the chance to meet the person I have always dreamed of meeting, verses staying in the same place expecting the same results. When walking through your fears you must willing to change your thoughts and readjust your actions because when you do the same things and expect a different result it is considered “insanity.” Fears have a way of leaving you bound to a place that is dark and bleak, but you don’t have to stay there. You can get up and start over with a new outlook on life. You have the option to reevaluate your thoughts and see life through a new lens if you so choose. So, what would you be willing to do to experience true love if you knew that it really exists?
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