Reader in Nashville, TN….
Cha, I'd like to know why females are so distrusting and jealous of other females who try to do the right things... Who are happy, empowered and so comfortable in the skin they are in, and how can those confident, classy women positively deal with the negativity spewed their way...Why can't women truly form and forge real relationships and stop being so petty, hurting and breaking down one another?
Response: Well, let me just start by saying that some people dislike others who are doing what they would like to be doing. Jealousy shows up when they have allowed themselves to burry the “real” person they want to become. Many women become jealous or have some type of resentment because they failed to follow the dreamer that lives inside of them. They wanted a similar life, man, career, or the peace they consistently see you having. They stopped believe that they too can have the things that they desire to have. Isn’t it funny how it is so easy to give your power away by becoming resentful?
We all have a purpose and we all are given opportunities, but it is when we do not take advantage of our opportunities that we find issue in someone else. You have heard the statement, misery loves company, and it does. No one wants to miss the party alone. It is much easier to be happy knowing that you have failed to follow your dreams, but that you have other’s keeping you company.
People are not required to look in the mirror when they surround themselves with everyone who looks just like them. Have you noticed that most people who do not want to advance always keep company with those on their same level or below? When you desire to move beyond where you currently are, you must be willing to stretch and grow. Most people do not want to step out of their comfort zones, and do something different. Therefore, they find issue when you do.
I do believe that women can get along and have healthy positive relationships, and I believe that many of us do. Some people will find fault in anything you do, and it is because they have not found out how to awaken the best of who they are. So, I encourage you to send them a silent blessing, and allow them to be. Do not stop being who you are because another woman has not found the courage to become who she desires to be. Remember, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
I am encouraged every time I see women engaging in positive and loving relationships, and my hope is that you can find that for yourself. Sisterhood is vital to our womanly experience. When we cannot find and embrace the love for our fellow sisters it’s because of the lack within, and it has not always been this way. In some African villages it was custom for all the women to live and work together, only to interact with men to procreate. While in the villages the women bonded, raised children, and took care of each other. So, it can be done, but unfortunately so many women are so unhappy with themselves and the life they have created.
I think the real answer to your question can be simply put by saying…we must start today to be the friend we want to see in our friendships. We attract into our lives exactly who we are. Become your sister’s keeper and love all women as you want to be loved. Send your sister’s love and just like anything else, you will begin to see more love come back to you. Soon, you will start to encounter more women with positive outlooks and who want to give just as much as they receive, and who want the best for you just as they want for themselves. Jealousy has no room in a place that is surrounded with love. I hope this helps. – CJ
Cha, I'd like to know why females are so distrusting and jealous of other females who try to do the right things... Who are happy, empowered and so comfortable in the skin they are in, and how can those confident, classy women positively deal with the negativity spewed their way...Why can't women truly form and forge real relationships and stop being so petty, hurting and breaking down one another?
Response: Well, let me just start by saying that some people dislike others who are doing what they would like to be doing. Jealousy shows up when they have allowed themselves to burry the “real” person they want to become. Many women become jealous or have some type of resentment because they failed to follow the dreamer that lives inside of them. They wanted a similar life, man, career, or the peace they consistently see you having. They stopped believe that they too can have the things that they desire to have. Isn’t it funny how it is so easy to give your power away by becoming resentful?
We all have a purpose and we all are given opportunities, but it is when we do not take advantage of our opportunities that we find issue in someone else. You have heard the statement, misery loves company, and it does. No one wants to miss the party alone. It is much easier to be happy knowing that you have failed to follow your dreams, but that you have other’s keeping you company.
People are not required to look in the mirror when they surround themselves with everyone who looks just like them. Have you noticed that most people who do not want to advance always keep company with those on their same level or below? When you desire to move beyond where you currently are, you must be willing to stretch and grow. Most people do not want to step out of their comfort zones, and do something different. Therefore, they find issue when you do.
I do believe that women can get along and have healthy positive relationships, and I believe that many of us do. Some people will find fault in anything you do, and it is because they have not found out how to awaken the best of who they are. So, I encourage you to send them a silent blessing, and allow them to be. Do not stop being who you are because another woman has not found the courage to become who she desires to be. Remember, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
I am encouraged every time I see women engaging in positive and loving relationships, and my hope is that you can find that for yourself. Sisterhood is vital to our womanly experience. When we cannot find and embrace the love for our fellow sisters it’s because of the lack within, and it has not always been this way. In some African villages it was custom for all the women to live and work together, only to interact with men to procreate. While in the villages the women bonded, raised children, and took care of each other. So, it can be done, but unfortunately so many women are so unhappy with themselves and the life they have created.
I think the real answer to your question can be simply put by saying…we must start today to be the friend we want to see in our friendships. We attract into our lives exactly who we are. Become your sister’s keeper and love all women as you want to be loved. Send your sister’s love and just like anything else, you will begin to see more love come back to you. Soon, you will start to encounter more women with positive outlooks and who want to give just as much as they receive, and who want the best for you just as they want for themselves. Jealousy has no room in a place that is surrounded with love. I hope this helps. – CJ
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3 comments:
YOU have to be who you are and be confortabale with yourself. When you know your strengths then will come through and you will be a winenr every time. Don't dwell on the negative... Always look for the result and how you feel.
I agree with what Cha stated. Like attracts Like, when we live our lives from a place of purity, honesty and integrity the natural order of things dictates that we will only attract the same. We can ask the question - "why are women jealous etc", however the answers often lie within ourselves. If we are seeing women or others who are negative, haters, distrustful etc; sometimes we have to ask "what about me is attracting this into my space?"
The truth is that women are so used to being caregivers; taking care of everyone else and putting themselves last; that when they see other females getting it in,they begin to hate. Day after day women have to see females getting ahead, climbing the ladder, and reaching their dreams. The reality is that women have learned how to survive on their last paycheck for example. We've become accustom to putting ourselves last. Just as long as the kids are ok we're ok for example. Then we begin to feel insecure because we wish that we would have finished school or took that job opportunity. The sad part is that we could have. We just don't know what those females went through, and if we took the moment to think about what their mothers and grandmothers went through, we all would probably get along or at least feel them. Females are strong when they stick together sort of like African Americans when they protest, but unfortunately when jealousy and envy and all that of which Satan thrives on evolves it creates a negative energy that is so powerful. What happend to the biblical days when women understood each other and told their stories and offered a helping hand? Those ladies had issues to, but they prayed there way out and so should we. I have kids and I know that I spend more money on them than I do myself. I can admit that because I was starved for affection as a kid and then went on to have my own children;I wanted to give them the world a better life than I had and so I went without and it was extremely hard to embrace the fact that my life was different. It was hard seeing women get ahead. I think being jealous is normal, but when it turns into rage or hate then it's no longer jealousy. If someone maliciously does something to someone because of their insecurity then that's wrong, but honestly jealousy is normal. Women with money struggle too; infact the more money you have the more problems. At the end of the day it's all emotions. It's about how you feel about yourself like my girl Cha said. It's about how well your doing or how well you think your doing! If everyone in the world was doing well or had wealth all at the same time then we wouldn't be able to testify. I put my faith in God and traveled around the East Coast for a year in a half. Some people thought I was crazy for leaving my husband and 3 kids home. Now if my husband left me and the kids at home while he traveled, society would find no problem with that, but if I would have never took a step out on faith and accepted that job opportunity because of what society thinks is correct I would be making the money that I make today. If I would have let my co-workers rumors and hate towards me affect me then I'd probably stillbe working at the same job miserable with them, but I believed in myself and I wanted better. I got tired of watching other women prosper. It's about making the decision to go after what you want that stirrs up jealousy. Some go get it and some wish they did. Well I wanted more for my self and so I surrounded myself around positive professional individuals. During this recession I managed to buy a new home and a new car while most successful women and men today are out of jobs. I owe this all to God for changing me and for being so giving and for being patient. So some advice to my jealous females is if and when you feel that jealous urge coming on just pray. God will make a way for you. And to the sister who feels like females are jealous of eachother they are, but they weren't born that way; I hate to say it but women are strong and we bend over backwards for everybody and put ourselves last all the time. It's just our nature, but we can't give up on eachother. Peace!
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